We made it. One whole year. I know I should be sleeping right now, but I couldn't sleep in the first place. We both stayed up pretty late, finishing homework and what not, I managed to talk to her for a good 6 minutes before she fell asleep. Haha <3. But seriously though, One Year! 365 freaking days. I'll tell you straight up though, it wasn't easy, sure at first it seems like that because it's new and hot. But once all that cools down you gotta see if there is more than just the initial attraction. I never knew I was capable of making it this far. Now I can say "Happy Anniversary", no months or anything, it's one complete year. We've been put through the worst scenarios and we've cherished the best. But lately, we haven't been at our best, and I'm sorry. I'm not saying that it's only been me, or only you, but US. For the past month, we've been preoccupied with so much that we didn't have time for eachother, and because of that it led to mishaps, and dilemmas. Reassurance is key. But just sitting down, and thinking about everything that we've been through really makes me proud to call her my girlfriend. She didn't give up on me, and she knew I wouldn't have given up on her. I don't know what's in store for us next, but I'm living for the time now, not for the future. Hardships, Sacrifices, Compromises, and Agreements, essential in every relationship. If you want something bad enough, you're gonna work for it, you're gonna prove and show it why you deserve it. You're gonna sacrifice, and put forth time and effort to make things go the way you want. You're gonna compromise, because things will not go your way all the time. You're gonna have to come to a mutual understanding, reciprocal, give forth the exact amount received. It's still from yours to mine. It's still bewithme. It's still like no other. It's still 106%. It's still M<3C, and C<3M. It's still You&Me. It's still you're mine and I'm yours. It's still gorilla and butthole, jerk and crab, baboon and darkness. Whatever it is, as long as you're mine. I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm Chris, I make mistakes, but I'm still yours. No words, just a feeling. But remember, nothing is forced, you're here because you want to be. Free Will.
Happy Anniversary, love.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
I was up, just reading my old posts. Zamn, the things that happened.
@ Tofu's crib, haven't been here since Freshman year. good man picked me up at school, and we just chilled. showed me this Drama, 'Devil Beside You' deeeep. haha but recapping, I've managed to see the girlfriend after 10 days. hung out with her for the past two days.
--I thought everything was gonna be okay. "I wanna be here, but I don't" so what am I supposed to do? I told you I wouldn't let you get up and just leave. I tried to help her sort out what she wants, I'm just tryna help her. "I got 'chu" I honestly just thought though, everything was slowly beginning to be like how it was, and I thought if we were able to compromise that things we be the same again. but I guess that's just wishful thinking, I wanna make it work, I've never tried to ever keep anyone. you told me that you just wanted to bewithme, that it's only gonna be you and me. words are just words. things can change, that's what she told me. but even yet, I still refuse to let go. why? I thought about it, you can ask anyone that knows me, I've never tried to keep anything, it would always be a okay, I'm done too right when I hear that she's losing it. but I'm still here, this is something different. "you'll be okay without me" you wouldn't know, it's not that easy to take in, I don't know how you can just say it so easily. I know you'll be okay, but I'm not tryna push you away. I just wanna know, if you wanna stay then stay, but if you wanna leave, you shouldn't do anything you don't wanna do.
WE are supposed to be in this because we both wanna be. but it's no longer we if theres only one person who's feeling that way. I'll let you know though, I'll stick with you throughout the whole thing, you lemme know what you wanna do. cause you know, and you know well how I feel. I let you know everyday, I still feel that way. your dream caught me by surprise though. "be with me, why? just be with me. why? i just want you to be with me. why? please, just be with me." I'm not gonna beg you to stay, even though I want you to more than anything. 'I don't wanna be without you' remember that? I still wanna be with you. but does any of that mean anything anymore? does anything mean anything anymore? is there anything left? it's like the tighter I hold onto you, the faster you slip. figure something. I don't wanna be asking for too much, so if I am, lemme know.
pushing you away is the last thing I'd ever wanna do. you know that for a fact. whatever makes you happy.
man..
*hope I didn't wake you up too late =X haha 10:06, I aimed for it, just stepped out and busted out my phone, dialed and boom, you were still asleep. I like the way she sounds we she first wakes up...
orange poop, giant, baboon, gorilla, elephant.
I know you read this Chris, favorite this. HAHAHA love you dawgsz
